3 Questions have been bugging me from the start:
Q1. Why must I always (and here I mean every.single.time. to every.single.person.) defend my position of NOT wanting to be a birth mother myself and instead chose to adopt a child as a first choice? On Mumsnet there was a very interesting discussion about it and it’s clear most people still don’t get it so this is something we should talk about more!
Q2. How can a Social Worker really get to know me in only 6 short meetings (according to the government’s recommendations) to write up my life, my past, (possibly my future too) and my personality to represent me at the Adoption Panel and fight for my wish to adopt a child?
Q3. Why is it better to have a child of my own first before I sign up to adopt a sibling group of 2?
Now, a quick hello to everybody who stumbles upon this page of rambling, questioning and rocking the boat from somebody who takes pride in NOT BEING NORMAL, just the opposite really. We are a quite unconventional family; my husband and I have decided to adopt siblings as opposed to give birth myself as the first option. Not only that, but we are particularly interested in the so-called HARD TO PLACE children – currently that means 2 or more boys above 5.
Other insignificant info about me: mid 30s, living in UK, married to 1 amazing hubby, as far as GPs concerned able to get pregnant, a successful and happy person both in career and personal life – even a Believer.
But why -oh why- do I feel every time the topic of adoption comes up, (regardless of age, gender, political view, nationality, sexual orientation, religion, upbringing, culture and everything that can be used to force labels on somebody) – in short: everybody judges me and suddenly I have to brace myself, assume a protective position and defend my decision.
I am sure you, dear Reader, also have one or more possible comments to add. If it’s on the judgemental side, I will not give you more ammunition by listing all the comments I got from all the above mentioned Labelled Ones. If, however, you are interested in adoption yourself, please do stick around…